(from the book of faces) All couples – make this your status and answer honestly!

I love you, Tom. You mean everything to me. You’re my person, my rock, my home, my ollyollyoxenfree and you will be forevermore.

Who’s older?
Him. 47 on 1/14.
Same high school?
Nope. Him: Solon High School. Me: Coldwater High School. 377 miles apart. And somehow we found each other. ??
Most sensitive?
Flip a coin. He’s more outwardly sensitive, and I’m more inwardly sensitive. We’re both a little paranoid and tend to overanalyze social cues. I’m worse.
Eats out the most?
Him. He loves restaurants and trying new things. I like comfort food and eating what I’m used to.
More social?
Him. Emphatically, him. He has to drag me out of the house.
Most stubborn?
Flip a coin. I might say he is and he might say I am.
Who’s the funniest?
He is definitely more witty and funny. I roll my eyes a lot, but he really is.
Most temper?
Flip a coin. He goes off like a firecracker but then he’s done. I let it fester until I blow up and then hold a grudge an hour. Ok, sometimes a day.
Wakes up first?
Him. He’s an early bird and I’m a night owl.
Bigger family?
Me. But only because I’ve got extra parents.
Said I love you first?
I honestly can’t remember. Probably him.
The hoarder?
Me.
Better driver?
He’ll say he is and I’ll say I am. He’s more fast and decisive. I’m more careful.
More Siblings?
HIm.
Better cook?
Him.
More talkative?
HIM. Thank God. He does all the talking for us.
Shops more?
Definitely me. Amazon and I have a close, personal relationship. God bless Prime shipping.
Best dancer?
Him.
Pet lover?
Both of us. He’s happy with his dog, but I want a barn full of rescue animals.
Who’s taller?
He used to be 5’7″ and I used to be 5’5″ but I think we’ve both shrunk in our old age. ?
 
I love you, Tom. You mean everything to me. You’re my person, my rock, my home, my ollyollyoxenfree and you will be forevermore.
tom,jenness
tom,jenness

Obligatory Thanksgiving message. Happy Eat Like An Asshole and Pass Out Before Dishes are Done Day.

We did not coordinate outfits beforehand. We each came out of our rooms and went, “Dooooood. Niiiiiiice.”
Oh mah dam but he’s handsome! (Never mind I’m a tad biased.) He’s single, ladies! (Must not be a drama queen, a player, or a doosh. Extra points if you sign.)
He’s such a handsome devil.
Oh mah love. My person.
Elli & Erin are VERY excited to go to Gramma’s.
Happy Thanksgiving from me and mine to you and yours!

In which Jenny Lawson comes to Cedar Rapids and I give her a hug and knitted reproductive systems.

On 7/8/2016, Tom, my friends and I got to meet our favorite author. We were almost last in line (on purpose; see also: anxiety issues) and got to get our books signed, and talk with Jenny. Tom got his Rory card signed and I gave Jenny the Knitted Knaughties. If you don’t know about these, you’ll have to put that in my search box and enjoy a really good story about Jenny matchmaking me (in Iowa) and Louise (in New Zealand; see also: possible place to move if Trump becomes President, because if so, I’m Audi, dude) to come up with a knitted vagina and penis to show women where to find their clitoris in a totally non-skeevy way. Seriously; some women have to be shown. My sons learned a lot from this pair, and to their future wives, I say, “You. Are. Welcome.”

That was kind of a long stream of consciousness type of ramble, and I blame my phone. So I’ll just tack on the pictures and call it good. 

Yesterday, I worked from 10am-11pm on my website. I went to bed and couldn't sleep so I got back up and worked from 12am-3:30am. Still couldn't sleep until around 6am. I've gotten ZILCH done today (I did manage to shower, brush my teeth, and put on clean clothes) and I'm almost okay with that.
Jenny doing a totally kick-ass reading

Jenny and Tom
Jenny and Tom

Jenny accepting the adoption of the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny accepting the adoption of the Knitted Knaughties

Jenny and I and the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny and I and the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny combining a couple of her gifts so things could get even weirder, if possible
Jenny combining a couple of her gifts so things could get even weirder, if possible
Jenny and Kenzie  conversing intently
Jenny and Kenzie conversing intently
Jenny and Kenzie
Jenny and Kenzie

And they all checked one thing off their bucket list and lived happily ever after. Amen.

Day One of Love Your Spouse Challenge

This is a very real Saturday morning for us.

This is a very real Saturday morning for us. Tom got up early, I slept late, we’re chatting about last night (henceforth to be known as Jenny Lawson night, that which shall live on in family lore), there’s a chicken among us, and Tom has James Taylor on in the background.

Overheard at Asbee’s Asylum – Home of the Cozy White Coats

(Scene: All Asbee’s are watching a DVD together. And no one is abusing each other. Go figure.)

young son, Mika: Mom, what’s ‘ironic’ mean?

Dory: *thinks about it a moment* Well, it’s kind of hard to explain. … It’s like, when you’re working at your job, and there’s a “No Smoking” sign on the wall when you take your cigarette break.

Mika: *completely confused and bewildered*

Tom: Son, it’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Mika: You are both. SO. WEIRD.

Dory: My laptop’s open. Dictionary.com is your friend.

Tom: While you’re at it, look up ‘weird’ and see if our picture is up there.

(End Scene.)

Our children are going to be SO warped.

(FYI… I used to use the name The Dinosaur, or Dino, for the younger son. 1- He’s no longer obsessed with dinosaurs and memorizing entire encyclopedias on The Jurassic Period. 2- I also gave the sons weird names so people can’t google them later and find them here. So I’ll just misspell their names instead from now on. Plus, I never use our real last name on here because I don’t want The GirlBeater googling back here.)