In which Jenny Lawson comes to Cedar Rapids and I give her a hug and knitted reproductive systems.

On 7/8/2016, Tom, my friends and I got to meet our favorite author. We were almost last in line (on purpose; see also: anxiety issues) and got to get our books signed, and talk with Jenny. Tom got his Rory card signed and I gave Jenny the Knitted Knaughties. If you don’t know about these, you’ll have to put that in my search box and enjoy a really good story about Jenny matchmaking me (in Iowa) and Louise (in New Zealand; see also: possible place to move if Trump becomes President, because if so, I’m Audi, dude) to come up with a knitted vagina and penis to show women where to find their clitoris in a totally non-skeevy way. Seriously; some women have to be shown. My sons learned a lot from this pair, and to their future wives, I say, “You. Are. Welcome.”

That was kind of a long stream of consciousness type of ramble, and I blame my phone. So I’ll just tack on the pictures and call it good. 

Yesterday, I worked from 10am-11pm on my website. I went to bed and couldn't sleep so I got back up and worked from 12am-3:30am. Still couldn't sleep until around 6am. I've gotten ZILCH done today (I did manage to shower, brush my teeth, and put on clean clothes) and I'm almost okay with that.
Jenny doing a totally kick-ass reading

Jenny and Tom
Jenny and Tom

Jenny accepting the adoption of the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny accepting the adoption of the Knitted Knaughties

Jenny and I and the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny and I and the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny combining a couple of her gifts so things could get even weirder, if possible
Jenny combining a couple of her gifts so things could get even weirder, if possible
Jenny and Kenzie  conversing intently
Jenny and Kenzie conversing intently
Jenny and Kenzie
Jenny and Kenzie

And they all checked one thing off their bucket list and lived happily ever after. Amen.

Hair update

Yes, I know there’s much more important things going on in the world than Dory growing out her hair.


At least 3 times a week I pick up my phone to text Cathy to make an appointment to cut it all off. Then I put it down and resolve to wait until at least April to make any drastic moves.


With Sassy Glasses


Now, on to more important things than my hair.

Vacation to The Wilderness with the Ricechex

In the car on the way… all bouncing off the walls in happy anticipation of good times on the horizon

Rose sent me a pic of her kids snoozing in the back… Tom said, point at me and take it on 3. No families were killed in a fiery death in the making of this image

Me and my love

Mr. Ricechex, ready for his close up

The Mens. Step back, ladies, they’re all ours

My love, doing what he does best, which is TALK

Mr. Ricechex, doing what he does best, which is look smolderingly handsome

This man whom I love achingly

Man-child, who frequently makes me want to tear out my hair and set it on fire on an altar to my ancestor-mothers

This woman, who seems to understand how my heart beats before I do

Mrs. Ricechex, my eventual Mexico wife


Slappy Gnu Rear

From me & mine to you & yours!

Asbees at Christmas
click to embiggen

I’m gonna rock 2012 like none other, baby.

How about you?

Here’s a year’s worth of Daily Mug Shots for ya. Shots taken 1-1-11 to 12-31-11.

Here’s one you ain’t heard in a while…

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.


NaBloMeNow Day Two. It’s going to be a very long month.

I still don’t know what to write about. I have to get the crappy stuff out of my head so I can give you the good stuff. Maybe I’ll do a whole stream-of-consciousness thing offline tomorrow and see if I can clear through the overgrown brush enough to see the edge of the meadow. You remember that exercise your creative writing teacher made you do in high school? Write for 20 minutes straight no matter what. Just keep writing.

My extension in Google Chrome that lets me pass on everything I post at G+ over at Facebook and Twitter was wonky today.


I have no words for you.


You get pics I edited today and posted on G+ that didn’t make it to Facebook or Twitter.


I know.

Shit happens, people. Life’s not fair. Eat your vegetables. Put a coat on; you’ll catch your death of cold! Wait, what?

Oh, yeah.


Here they are.

don't steal my image or I'll cry
©2011 jenness asby dot com
don't steal my image or I'll cry
©2011 jenness asby dot com
don't steal my image or I'll cry
©2011 jenness asby dot com

BTW, that one is a composite of these three…

And they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Who’s going to soundproof my basement?

As if it wasn’t noisy enough around here with Zaya playing drums, now Mika has decided he wants to play the tuba!

Last spring when the 5th graders were offered band instruments, he came home and said the only thing he would be allowed to play was the flute, and wasn’t really enthused about the situation. Sorry to be stereotypical, but a dude playing the flute? I couldn’t blame him. The only dude I know who can pull that off is James Galway. I thought Mika was a trumpet or sax kinda kid. So it looked like Mika wouldn’t be in band. I was seriously bummed out.

And? I feel it extremely necessary to point out that kids in band? Are NOT “band geeks.” A point which Tom will vehemently deny.

So, actually, I was really pleased when the band teacher called me and said that they had went around to all the new 6th graders and had given them a second chance to be in band. Mika said he wanted to play the tuba!

Of course, his favorite part is that he can make a sound like an elephant fart. [insert 12 year old boy giggles here]

Erin was extremely interested in the incredibly interesting noises emanating from this new thing in her house.

Zaya quickly came up with the idea that Erin looking in the tuba should change to Erin being in the tuba. The mom in me was all, “No, we don’t utilize musical instruments in that manner! Cease and desist immediately!” but the Dory in me was all, “Aw, this is gonna be a great picture!”

Which even more quickly devolved into, “Hey, what happens if we put Elmer in there?”

And the answer to that would be, “You have one really freaked out Elmer on your hands.”

And an Elmer NOT shy about voicing his displeasure. He was NOT pleased with the turn of events.

And furthermore, his fluffy butt makes a great mute.

I like the fun house mirror photo op. Big surprise there.

So I’ll have Zaya practicing drums and Mika practicing tuba DAILY. I see a lot of extremely loud noise in my future.

I love it. 🙂