Meme-wars of a Blogger

Mah Peepull… the inimitable Grandy over at Functional Schmunctional has tagged me for another Random Things meme. Obviously, I didn’t run fast enough! 

  1. Link to the person who tagged you
  2. Post the rules on your blog
  3. List 6 random things about yourself
  4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
  5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog

It’s going to be hard to pull more out of my ass come up with more random things, because I have done this a time or two. I’ll do my best.

  1. I haven’t ridden a bicycle since I was in 8th grade. That was about 22 years ago. But then I bought a motorcycle, took a safety course, and got my license in 05/2007. I don’t really like driving a motorcycle; I’d much rather just be a passenger. When I’m driving, it’s just too scary and out of control. The whole time, all I can think about is how many different incredibly painful ways I could die on that bike. This doesn’t exactly make for a relaxing hobby. But I’m glad I did it, because it made Hunky awfully happy.
  2. I’ve only had one speeding ticket in my whole life. That’s not because I’m careful, it’s because I’m lucky
  3. My dad does stained glass, and I wish I could, too. But I can’t imagine taking on another hobby in addition to sewing and photography and scrapbooking and woodworking and riding on the back of Hunky’s motorcycle. 
  4. I miss the smell of having a real Christmas tree, but it’s just too much hassle. But then again, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas without that smell.
  5. When I was in 6th-12th grade, I played flute in symphonic band and marching band. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ME A BAND GEEK, HUNKY. Back me up, here, Mah Peepull.
  6. I’ve watched the entire series of Friends, all ten seasons, at least five times all the way through. That’s not as bad as it sounds; it’s just that when I’m working on the computer, I like to have it on. I’ve also been through Scrubs seasons 1-6 four times. And Will & Grace seasons 1-4 at least three times, and House seasons 1-3 once. 
  7. Sorry, I’m having to dig in the muck at the bottom. The cars I’ve owned: 1986 Gutless Cutless, 1989 Pontiac Grand Am, 1992 Pontiac Grand Am, 1991 Dodge Dakota, 1990 Dodge Shadow, 1986 Dodge Aries K Car, 1992 Plymouth Acclaim, 2000 Dodge Stratus, 1999 Saturn SL.

So there ya go. I’m not going to tag anyone because I just did less than a month ago, and I’d rather not be lynched or tarred and feathered. And if anyone tags me in the next couple months, my head is going to explode.

Siete MAS uh… Thing-Os?

Man, I was really worried I wouldn’t have anything to post today beyond “And then I had a microwave dinner for lunch. It was a Boston Market Roasted Pork with Mashed Red Potatoes.” Because, remember, No One Cares What You Had for Lunch. Which, by the by, is still sitting here on my desk undisturbed because no, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to write, but let’s not get crazy and actually DO something about it. It’s ever so much more fun to simply sit and stew.

youve been tagged

Ms. Maxwell came to my rescue and tagged me for the 7 things meme. I’m sure I’ve done this one a time or few, but I’m going to attempt to come up with 7 things you guys don’t know about me. It should be easy what with how much I hold back from you and am generally painfully shy and retiring. *poker face breaks* I’m sorry, I couldn’t deadpan, it was just too hard! I accost you with my verbal diarrhea and molest you with my many instances of “Thank you for visiting The Temple of TMI – Please drive through” on a regular basis, and then have the nerve to act surprised when my subscriber count plunges from 25 to 9 in one day!

Alrighty then, on with the show.

  1. I don’t like parties. They give me panic attacks. I hate enduring people I don’t know and small talk and crowds and noise. If I must attend a party, I try to find a corner to plant myself in with a few people I know to shoot the shit with until I can gracefully leave. It wears me out so bad, I need to nap when it’s over.
  2. I’ve never had a bikini wax. Yes, I do landscape the private property; but even after dropping two kids out the escape hatch with no epidural, I am too afraid of how painful it would be. There will be a blizzard in hell before anyone gets near the nether regions with hot wax.
  3. The highest wage I have ever earned is $14.50/hour designing booklets and forms for standardized testing across the nation. It wasn’t enough. I was only there 10 weeks before I found the next job and moved on.
  4. Dude, this is REALLY hard. Too many of my IRL (In Real Life) friends read this blog! I am having a seriously hard time coming up with stuff all y’all wouldn’t know about me! … ok, only my Dad may remember this fun little tidbit of history. I skipped school so much my junior year of high school, I almost didn’t get to graduate with my class. I had to take night school my senior year to make up the credits to go through the ceremony. How many of you already knew that? Kizzle? Todd or Jason, did you remember that?
  5. It’s getting tight; it’s 11:45pm! Um… um… many times I played hooky from school because I didn’t have my homework done. I procrastinated so badly, that I stayed home from school and instead of watching cartoons, I did homework. I’m a moron.
  6. I’ve never tried escargot or oysters. I almost gag at even the thought of something that slithery coming near my mouth. *shudders*
  7. My senior year, I got the lead in the play You Can’t Take It With You and The Girl Beater told me that because the female lead kisses the male lead, I was going to give up the part or he was going to break up with me. But then the play got canceled. I can’t remember why. But I was upset not that it was canceled, but because I wanted him to break up with me. I didn’t have the strength to do it, but by then, I knew the relationship was going to end one way or another.

Ok, have to tag quickly and then leave comments tomorrow! Andi, City Girl, Colleen, Jenn, Jeanette, Jim, and Pamela; one long-time friend and lots of new friends that I need to know more about anyway!

Thursday Thirteen, the Freek edition

I almost forgot to write today and my hubster has already turned in, so here’s a quick one for you. I’ve seen people do Thursday Thirteen, and it sounds like a great way to bang out a post.

THIRTEEN THINGS ON MY DESK that might tell you just how much of a crazy freek I am:

  1. A binder almost four inches thick with almost all my old film negatives, sorted chronologically. Each roll gets its own slicky and negative sleeves with post-its all over it noting dates and identifying clues. Example: “91-06-01(ish?) at senior swingout with Amy and company because [The GirlBeater] took off in a huge temper tantrum. Ass.” Some I have already scanned and have index prints.
  2. My dSLR with pictures on the card to be downloaded and pick out a couple for Weekly Winners. (I remembered this week! Yay, me!)
  3. Puffs Plus Vicks Scented with Aloe. My nose is very high maintenance. It has an unhealthy sense of entitlement that would rival Paris Hilton’s.
  4. My wireless keyboard that is now JUNK because one of my rugrats spilled a mysterious liquid into it. Literally. I turned it upside down and a 1/2 cup of something fell out.
  5. Christmas candy. ALREADY. Actually, this is less about me being a freek as it is Hunky, because HE’S the one that picked up the Reese’s Bells. Ok, but I admit, YUM.
  6. A box of pens and pencils that is just a drop in the ocean of all the pens and pencils in this house. Can NO ONE THROW AWAY A WRITING UTENSIL?!
  7. A stack of approximately 5 DVDs from a bundle of 25. But I definitely DO NOT borrow my friends’ movies and break the encryption and make a copy for myself. Because that would be WRONG. Especially if it was three full seasons of Desperate Housewives.
  8. No One Cares What You Had For Lunch: 100 Ideas For Your Blog. Oh, yes I DID.
  9. Small Post-its. I loooooove small Post-Its. I put them all over the damn place.
  10. Every time I type the word “Post-its”, I am very careful to type that, because in my head I can’t NOT say Post-Tits.
  11. The manual for my dSLR, which I’m currently trying to memorize.
  12. My “I Voted” sticker. And some Obama ’08 stickers.
  13. My sunglasses I bought at Meijer when I went to visit my sister in July. They make me feel like a rockstar because my Leetil Seester picked them out and she has waaaaaaay better fashion sense than me. And she actually wears make-up every day! And she looks like she stepped out of a Banana Republic catalog. I wear make-up about four times a year and I wear almost the same thing every day: jeans (prefer Levi’s 518s), t-shirt and sweatshirt, a matching set from VS, and Chuck Taylors.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude. And I get in under the line! 20 minutes before deadline, thankyouverymuch!

NahNoMoFoMe 2008

nablopomo08.jpgIt’s that time again, folks… NaBloPoMo is upon us. I managed to do it last year, and apparently I’m just a glutton for punishment, because I’m going to do it again this year.

Have I mentioned I was quoted on Blogtations? Have I also mentioned September’s Blogtations Award? Just in case I forgot, today is the last day to vote for me for September’s Blogtations Award. Have I also mentioned how remarkably lovely you’re all looking today? Really, you’re just fantastic.

I made a new animated header up there. Whadahya think?

Why use one word when ten will do?

Ok, first of all, I need to thank FabBoyFab profusely because 1- he gifted me with some lovely blog bling and 2- said bling comes complete with a meme that you have to do with only one word answers. Which is fantastic because I had a job interview today and my brain is mush. Anyway, I’ve read Fab’s blog for over a year now, and there will always be a special place in my reader for him.

On with the meme!

Where is your mobile phone? Holster
Where is your significant other? MIA
Your hair colour? changing
Your mother? cowgirl
Your father? distinguished
Your favourite thing? words
Your dream last night? surreal
Your dream goal? happiness
The room you’re in? tornado
Your hobby? LOTS
Your fear? alone
Where do you want to be in 6 years? blessed
Where were you last night? home
What you’re not? Non-spazzy
One of your wish-list items? iPhone
Where you grew up? Coldwater
The last thing you did? nap
What are you wearing? VS
Your TV? huge
Your pets? insane
Your computer? ooolllddd
Your mood? better
Missing someone? yep
Your car? new-to-me (I’m not cheating– that’s a common alternative to the word USED!)
Something you’re not wearing? tutu
Favourite shop? Ikea
Your summer? short
Love someone? yes
Your favourite colour? green
When is the last time you laughed? today
When is the last time you cried? Monday

And now I am to pay forward the bloggy love. I’d’ve gifted CityGirl with it, but Fabs beat me to it. I’d’ve gifted Kizzle with it, but 1-she doesn’t have a blog and 2-we’ve seen each others’ twins and well, that’s gift enough. Here it is wrapped up nice and purty for Brandy, because she makes me think and laugh and cry and everything in between. And one for BEG, mah Deafie. I probably wouldn’t have this blog if it wasn’t for her. She has been such an incredible encouragement to me. And one for JerseyGirl, because she needs something to take her mind off her How-friggin-much-longer pregnancy. And, well, you guys, seriously; I love your blogs.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude. Word.

Cuatro Thingos

Thank God for broken databases at work, because now I have time to post! Until they fix the database, anyway. I’ll take what I can get.

This one has been sitting in drafts for, like, EVer… Rebecca tagged me a looooong time ago…

4 Jobs I’ve Held:

  1. Delivered (legal!) drugs to housebound folks for a small-town pharmacy
  2. MP in the Army
  3. Inbound customer service representative
  4. Graphic Designer

4 Movies I’ve Watched Over and Over Again:
(I’m not going to mess with linking them… you know ’em, you love/hate ’em, you probably own them already.)

  1. The Cutting Edge
  2. The Breakfast Club
  3. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  4. Coyote Ugly

4 Places I’ve Been:

  1. Estes Park
  2. South Padre Island
  3. Niagra Falls
  4. Matamoros, Mexico

4 Places I’ve Lived:

  1. Fremont, Michigan
  2. Coldwater, Michigan
  3. Quincy, Michigan
  4. Cedar Rapids, Iowa

4 TV Shows I Watch:
(Bear in mind these are all TV on DVD. I don’t watch actual network TV much at all. I’ve probably watched maybe one hour in the last month.)

  1. Friends
  2. Scrubs
  3. House
  4. CSI (The one with Grissom)

4 Radio Shows I Listen To:
(Subscribed via Podcast.)

  1. Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson
  2. Family Life with Dennis Rainey
  3. Enjoying Everyday Life with Joyce Meyer
  4. Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram

4 Things I Look Forward To:

  1. End-of-shift on Friday
  2. Uninterrupted, unscheduled time with Hunky
  3. Affection from the boys, as long as I know they’re doing it “just because” and not to suck up to get out of trouble
  4. An evening with good food, good friends, good conversation, and laughing ’til we wet ourselves a little

4 Favorite Foods:

  1. Raspberries
  2. Grapefruit
  3. Steak, medium rare
  4. Mt. Dew

4 Places I’d Rather Be:

  1. Napping
  2. Home in my office playing with my photos and watching TV on DVD
  3. On the couch watching a movie with my dog and my bankie
  4. In West-by-God-Virginia to meet Miss Ann

4 People I E-Mail Regularly:
(I don’t initiate emails much. I mostly just respond. I don’t forward anything unless it’s a really good one.)

  1. My step-mom
  2. My dad
  3. My Vocational Rehab guy, I keep plugging away at getting this Self-Employment thing off the ground
  4. I try to email a response back to each comment on my blog (people, either leave your email or have your email easy to find on your blog!) 🙂

4 People I’ve Tagged:
I believe I’ve forfeited my tagging rights what with the terrible tardiness I’ve shown in getting to this. If you wanna, go for it; if you don’t; don’t.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude. Bahdahbebadebahdebahbahthth That’s all, folks!

The wannabe meme

MelodyAnn e-mailed this. I don’t take these things real seriously and it’s good blog fodder so here goes…

  1. What time did you get up this morning? around 9am
  2. Diamonds or pearls? Isn’t that a 90s song by Prince?
  3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Open Season
  4. What is your favorite TV show? Scrubs
  5. What do you usually have for breakfast? a nervous breakdown
  6. What is your middle name? Procrastination
  7. What food do you dislike? The yucky kind
  8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? A Merry Jazzmas
  9. What kind of car do you drive? The kind that’s dented, dirty, got 120k miles, and is paid for
  10. Least favorite sandwich? Crap Sammichs
  11. What characteristic do you despise? bigotry
  12. Favorite item of clothing? None. *evil grin*
  13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Anywhere there’s sand, sun, and happy hour starts at 1pm
  14. What color is your bathroom? WalMart special white
  15. Favorite brand of clothing? Levi’s or Converse
  16. Where would you retire to? I retire to my boudoir every evening.
  17. What was your most memorable birthday? The one when Nanner got me a cake from HyVee and she got the Bakery Chick to write “Nessa Bessa Boodle Chicken Noodle” on it
  18. Favorite sport to watch? lesbian midget jell-o wrestling
  19. When is your birthday? Only once a year.
  20. Are you a morning person or a night person? I’m a 4:37pm person.
  21. What is your shoe size? That’s classified information
  22. Pets? The Elli – my beloved JRT; and my cats The Elmer (aka Dumb as a Box of Hair), and The Emma (aka Snotty Little Cheerleader Bitch).
  23. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? Sure. I’m pregnant. And monkeys might fly out my butt.
  24. What did you want to be when you were little? Big. Now I’m big and I want to be little.
  25. What are you today? Disenchanted. Disoriented. Discombobulated.
  26. What is your favorite candy? Eye candy. Matthew McConaughey shirt-less. Lucky for me, he likes to disrobe a lot.
  27. What is your favorite flower? Gold Medal
  28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Well, I don’t buy anything from Publisher’s Clearing House so since Ed McMahon is not going to show up at my door with a great big check one of these days, I’ll go with None of the Above.
  29. What church do you attend? The Temple of TMI
  30. What is your full name? Dory Procrastination Blue-Tang
  31. What are you listening to right now? the voices in my head
  32. What was the last thing you ate? Popcorn and bite-size Butterfingers
  33. Do you wish on stars? No, but it makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will coooome to yoooou.
  34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Granny Smith Apple Green
  35. How is the weather right now? Frightful. But the fiiiire is soooo delightful.
  36. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Probably Tom. I gave up my cell phone in May to switch to text/IM only. Sometimes I try to talk on Tom’s phone but I have a hard time understanding. Actually, now that I think about it, I talked to Kizzle just a little bit ago on Tom’s phone. I caught the gist of it, but I hope there’s not a pop quiz on the convo! I’ll probably make her tell the story again next time I see her face-to-face! *laughs*
  37. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No. I loooove her in a totally non-lesbian lover sort of way!
  38. Favorite soft drink? Mountain Dew
  39. Favorite restaurant? Roadkill Grill
  40. Hair color? Purple with pink dots
  41. Siblings? 7. Not sure where they all are now. I was raised by wolves.
  42. Favorite day of the year? National Psychosis Awareness Day
  43. What was your favorite toy as a child? My pony
  44. Summer or winter? Spring or fall, because I’m difficult like that
  45. Hugs or kisses? Cold Hard Cash
  46. Chocolate or Vanilla? Twist
  47. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday
  48. What is under your bed? 6 drawers
  49. What did you do last night? finished cleaning the boys’ rooms and watched Scrubs
  50. What are you afraid of? Plushophiles
  51. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Whatever that cute Eagle Scout has in his bag
  52. How many keys on your key ring? None; they took them away when they checked me in
  53. How many years at your current job? Been a worthless jobless festering sore on society since May 25
  54. Favorite day of the week? They’re all pretty much the same these days
  55. Cities you have lived in? Fremont, Michigan; Coldwater, Michigan; Quincy, Michigan and Cedar Rapids, Iowa
  56. Favorite saying? Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.