You live, you learn.

“Little Red Corvette” comes on shuffle.

Me: I don’t even know what a lot of the words mean to this song. How can she have a pocket full of horses?

Tom: Trojans.

Me: oooooooooh!

It took me until I was 40yo to get that!

He then proceeded to explain almost all the rest of the words. He’s so smuckin’ fart.

WANT.

WANT.

Amazon.com: Case Logic Kilowatt KSB-102 Large Sling Backpack for Pro DSLR and Laptop: Camera & Photo

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Overheard at Asbee’s Asylum – Home of the Cozy White Coats

(Scene: All Asbee’s are watching a DVD together. And no one is abusing each other. Go figure.)

young son, Mika: Mom, what’s ‘ironic’ mean?

Dory: *thinks about it a moment* Well, it’s kind of hard to explain. … It’s like, when you’re working at your job, and there’s a “No Smoking” sign on the wall when you take your cigarette break.

Mika: *completely confused and bewildered*

Tom: Son, it’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Mika: You are both. SO. WEIRD.

Dory: My laptop’s open. Dictionary.com is your friend.

Tom: While you’re at it, look up ‘weird’ and see if our picture is up there.

(End Scene.)

Our children are going to be SO warped.

(FYI… I used to use the name The Dinosaur, or Dino, for the younger son. 1- He’s no longer obsessed with dinosaurs and memorizing entire encyclopedias on The Jurassic Period. 2- I also gave the sons weird names so people can’t google them later and find them here. So I’ll just misspell their names instead from now on. Plus, I never use our real last name on here because I don’t want The GirlBeater googling back here.)

Quite possibly the most boring title in the history of blogging: Merry Christmas!

I had a little meltdown Tuesday, and it rather inconveniently placed itself smack in the middle of the time where I pick up my boys from school. When I pulled up I was all snuffly and right away I said, “You guys didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just having myself a little meltdown. It’ll pass.”

Just exactly then, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” came on the radio.

I busted out bawling again.

Rocky put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Mom, this is, like, the stupidest song ever.”

Laughing through crying helps.

• • • • • •

I invite you into my bathroom this morning, right after our shower. (Yes, HunkyDory showers together. Save water; shower with a friend!).

Just, like, in your brain, blur stuff out where The Sim’s game does.

Christmas carols are playing on the iHome.

Hunky: [singing along with ‘White Christmas] IIIIII’m screaming at. A. Whiiiiiiite Supremisiiiiiiiist. Just like the ones I… [stops singing abruptly] There’s a chance I might’ve had too much coffee.

Dory: *blink* *blink blink* I got nothin‘, dude.

Hunky: *wandering off and twirling his hands* [sing-song voice] Tooooo Muuuuuch Caaaawwwffffffeeeeee!

Yeah, that’s how we do what we do when we do what we do.

What do I win? Are there at least some fabulous parting gifts?

NaBloPoMo It’s been one of those days that makes me hate NaBloPoMo. I have several different ideas for something to write about; however, each one would take more effort than I have the energy for. I could have done a Weekly Winners post, but do you think I remembered to take any pictures this week?! Hay-yell NoooOOOoooo, I did not.

I went to church (15 minutes late AS USUAL, I think people would have a heart attack and die from surprise if we showed up ON TIME) and then sat in the coffee shop and chatted with friends while the rugrats were in kid’s church. Then I went to a friend’s baby shower and actually ATE (ok, I admit it, I only SMELLED) the baby food (Oh, alright, I admit I licked the spoon on one of them) during the baby food game. Got home around almost 4:00pm with the full and good-hearted intention to write my blog post and then finish the laundry.

I sat down here at the computer several hours ago. Let’s see how many things I came up with to do to procrastinate writing my blog post.

  1. Read a couple comments that I got from Maggie linking to me. *waves frantically at Maggie*  Everybody say, “HiiiIIIiiii, Maaaaaaggggggie!”  We love Maggie, people.
  2. Rejoiced in the lovely fact that I picked up another 8 subscribers since yesterday. Everybody say, “HiiiIIIiii, New Subscribers!” We love New Subscribers, people.
  3. Cleared my Google Reader.
  4. Read a few blogs that I have bookmarked but not yet in Google Reader.
  5. Wasted some time in Google Analytics, SiteMeter, and StatCounter.
  6. Wasted some more time in Blissfully Domestic. p.s. I have some really exciting news about this website I can’t announce yet, but soon. I don’t want to jinx it.
  7. Remodeled my sidebar with Tabbed Widgets. That alone took a couple hours.
  8. Cleaned out my inbox on my hotmail, my yahoo, and my cantrememberdiddly.
  9. Unenthusiastically watched the goings-on in Twitter. Clicked through to several Tweeple’s blog posts that weren’t in my Google Reader.
  10. Went through old blog posts adding categories to the ones I had filed under “x”, where “x” equals “default category chosen because I couldn’t be bothered to add appropriate categories in the first place which would seem like a bad thing until I need something to procrastinate writing a blog post during NaBloPoMo.”
  11. Watched Giants vs. Patriots with vague disinterest.
  12. Sorted and put away papers on my computer desk.
  13. Put autumn candy in my glass candle holders. Candy corn, pumpkins, and caramels with sticks. Hawsum. Lit a whole bunch of candles in the living room. Thought, Hmmmm, caramel.
  14. Went to the grocery store and got popcorn, ice cream, and a caramel apple with peanuts.
  15. Ate the caramel apple with peanuts.
  16. Went through my pictures in Bridge half-heartedly searching for inspiration.
  17. Looked through the folder full of pictures I’ve had since March to write my how to do a nine-patch machine quilt. Saw a picture of my gramma’s sewing scissors and remembered that was when I lost them.
  18. Turned my couch upside down and unstapled the bottom material to see if Gramma’s sewing scissors fell through the cracks and inside the couch. Nope.
  19. Sat for a good five minutes thinking about how I will always spell scissors correctly, because I still remember my Speak & Spell spelling it out in that monotone computer voice.
  20. Played in Photoshop. Added Hunky’s goatee to my face. No, you can’t see it.
  21. Well, ok, maybe you can, but later. Damn, that would have been a good post right there. Dory. FAIL.
  22. Put a load of wash in the dryer and another in the washer.
  23. Got really desperate and mixed two different bags of potting soil and re-potted two of my ivys.
  24. Decided I need to buckle down and get it done. Went to flickr looking for inspiration.
  25. Then…

Hunky: Are you writing anything yet?

Dory: No, I’m in flickr looking for inspiration.

Hunky: Would you like me to take my pants down?

Dory: Would you like me to blog about it?

Hunky: *sigh* I’m going to bed.

I am a WORLD CLASS procrastinator. You DO NOT want to take me on. I will open a big stinking BARREL of PROCRASTINATE on your ass.

If I opened my mind any more, my brains would fall right out on the floor.

I’m getting so tired of the political emails flying around with Lies and Opinions dressed for the Halloween party as Facts. I’m going to make an inbox rule: all emails with either “McCain” or “Obama” in them will go directly to a folder named “Shuddup and Bite Me.”

Seriously, how can anyone at this stage in the game send an email that accuses Obama of being a no-birth-certificate-havin’ Muslim baby-killer? *cringes at the search engine traffic that will surely ensue*

HunkyDory tries to keep things light, yet indulges in serious conversation, too.

Dory: 10:49  http://bluechristian.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-i-am-voting-for-barack-obama.html
Hunky: 5:19  Where you is Woman?!
Dory: 5:19  (Autoreply) Out and about running errands… might be driving; might not… IM me to see
Hunky: 6:32  i need this:  http://www.penisreductionpills.com/
Dory: 6:33  *orders right away* finally, an answer to our prayers for more comfortable instances of marital union
Hunky: 6:43 I am pro-life, and will always be pro-life. But I refuse to be held captive by mis-definitions which hold “pro-life” to be merely the protection of the unborn. Community — loving one’s neighbor — is in the Christian sense something that has no boundaries. I am responsible for my neighbor, whomever that neighbor may be. And while I will not say “a Christian cannot vote for Candidate X”, I will say that to fail to think through some of these issues very, very carefully before repeating as biblical the boilerplate of Carl Rove / John McBush is singularly non-discerning. And I think that I, too, have the Spirit of God.~ Jon
Hunky: 6:43  Jon Trotter
Hunky: 6:43  I like that definition
Dory: 6:43  very eloquent
Hunky: 6:44  Meanwhile, the Supreme Court since 1980 (when the Repubs took over and — except for the Clinton era — kept the White House, has not made any significant change to Roe v. Wade.
Further, if Roe were “flipped,” what we’d have then is a state by state ruling on abortion. Likely outcome, not radically different than what we have now, except for a few states whom would outlaw it.
Further yet, the term “Pro-life” is one which only has staying power if as a culture we make as extravagant an effort on behalf of born children and their single mothers as we’re making for the unborn children. Republicans are astonishingly obtuse on this point, as are many Evangelicals. “Don’t use my tax money to help that mother financially!” Oh, but do make sure she has the baby, despite having no support structure around her to even care for herself, much less raise the child? Hypocrisy.
Hunky: 6:44  That came before
Hunky: 6:47  That’s not what Republicans believe and as the Republicans go, so goes the Christian Right
Dory: 6:48  “Christian” and “Democrat” are not mutually exclusive, as much as the church would like them to be.
Hunky: 6:55  Actually it might be as much as the Republicans might like them to be mutually exclusive.

My name is Dory, and I approve this IM.

I welcome your comments; heck, sometimes I beg for your comments. But if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Don’t be a jackass, please.

Don’t be that guy.

Nobody likes that guy.