What about me?
It isn’t fair!
I’ve had enough,
now I want my share!
Can’t you see?
I wanna live
But you just take more
than you give
Moving Pictures – What About Me

This is my red flag.

I can be merrily rolling along, the sky’s blue, the birds are singing just for me, when something lands

(THUD.)

Right in the middle of my perfectly good day.

And it doesn’t exactly smell like roses.

It offends my delicate sensabilities, and it might even make my lip curl.

Sometimes I don’t even recognize this, but… at that moment, I have a choice.

I can choose right thinking, and extend people involved some grace and the benefit of the doubt.

Or I can choose wrong thinking, and start spinning conspiracy theories. I might have a well-timed tantrum if the wind blows right. I might even enlist innocent bystanders into my battle, and get them riled up for the cause.

In the middle of my self-righteous railing against a situation I have minimal control over, my grumbling and complaining might have even reached fever pitch before the star of my pity party shows up.

But here it comes. In 3… 2… 1…

What about me?

There it is.

And we’re off!

How dare they take the good stuff and leave me leftovers! What about me? Don’t I deserve good stuff too?

How dare they leave me out of that decision! What about me? Don’t I deserve a say?

How dare they push me aside! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be front and center?

How dare they leave me out of the loop! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be in the know as well?

How dare they not consider how I feel! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be heard?

How dare they be abrupt with me! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be treated well?

How dare they pass me over! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be seen?

What. About. ME?

WHAT. ABOUT. ME?

Sometimes I catch that red flag right away. Sometimes I need Tom to wave that red flag.

But hopefully, eventually, I see that red flag emblazoned with the war cry of selfishness – WHAT ABOUT ME.

And hopefully, eventually, I heed that red flag and stop and think.

Because… new flash… It’s not about me.

It shouldn’t be.

If I’m making it about me, my whole raison d’etre is wrong.

If I’m making it about God, I’m on the right track.

Because if I make it about serving Him in my every step, my every breath, every heartbeat, then He will take care of the rest, much better than I ever could have done.

When I work, when I play; when I serve my husband, when I serve my sons; I’ve got to be doing it for God, not for me.

For this moment, right now, I’ve got that straight.

But I’m sure I’ll see that stupid red flag soon.

Probably in a few minutes.

I’m kind of dense like that sometimes.

I just pray that I see it and then make the right choice before any major damage is done.

One Response to “What about me?”
  1. BJ Fuhrmann says:

    Amen! Well said. I applaud you for recognizing our relative ranking and I’m with you in the battle to keep Him first.

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