Listen, I realize there’s important events happening all over the world at the moment. People being born, people dying; natural disasters, large and small; nations fighting, governing, and signing treaties. I acknowledge the significance of all these life-changing activites.

But we need to talk about my hair.

I’m thisclose to ripping it out and setting it afire upon the altar of cosmetology. And, I should add that I am not averse to gluing it onto a chicken beforehand if it would help.

In November 2003 i had long curly hair. I felt cute and perky and a little ditzy. One day with no warning, I cut off 12 inches of hair and gave it to Locks of Love.

(You’ll have to Google that if you don’t know what it is; I’m composing this post on my iPhone and can’t be bothered to go through all the rigamarole of looking up the link in Wikipedia and adding HTML to link it.)

(Although factoring in how long it took me to type that last sentence, I might as well have taken the time to just do it.)

(Whatever.)

Anyway, it was short. Like, an inch to two inches long on top and a 1/4″ on the sides and back, depending on if I was getting it cut every four weeks or six. Which, by the by, gets expensive.

I love having short hair. It’s easy. I put a little mousse in it, play with the top for a minute to get it just the right amount of messy-on-purpose, and I’m out the door. It looks professional yet playful. It makes me feel sassy and confident.

Events transpired and conspired.

Everytime Tom looked at pictures of me with my long hair, he remarked on my curls and how much he missed them.

My beloved hair-cutter-gal decided to quit and go back to school and I couldn’t imagine anyone else getting scissors within a two foot radius of my person.

My last haircut was by hair-cutter-gal in her last week in her salon; the second week in August.

I almost sobbed on the way out that day.

My hair and I decided to go into mourning, just a step short of wearing sackcloth and piling on smoldering ashes.

We made a deal. I would let hair grow, and hair would not get in my way.

Hair reneged on the deal like the lying wench she truly is.

Hair staged a full-on mutiny, flipping up and out and in angles only previously achieved by a cirque du soliel performer.

I persevered. I fought back with gel and mousse and headbands and tiny barrettes.

In the best case scenario, Hair reluctantly complied to the smallest extent absolutely necessary. At worst, a beastly temper tantrum reared its ugly head and Hair was beaten back into reluctant, pouty submission.

I am growing weary of the battle. Hair has proven to be a tough and worthy adversary with plenty of fight left.

Tom says he doesn’t mind one way or the other, although I suspect he secretly harbors a preference for long curls.

What say you, Mah Peepull?

Give up and get shorn? To recap; expensive, sassy, professional, with a husband yearning for curls?

Or bravely soldier on? To recap; cute, perky, sexy, ditzy, with a husband happily twirling ringlet curls around his fingers?

Mah Peepull shall be heard!

29 Responses to “The One Where I Assert My Hair is as Important as Life-Changing World Events, I Request the Input of Mah Peepull, and the Blogosphere Rolls its Collective Eyes and Emits a Snort of Derision”
  1. Tom says:

    To be fair, you should have a picture of your hair longer so that everyone can share in the experience of your long hair. It was to the middle of your back for crying in the sink! But I didn’t marry you for your hair, so you do what you want with it. You’re beautiful with or without it.

    Dory Reply:

    I added our wedding picture. I’m pretty sure I did it right.

  2. bubblewench says:

    I have the same exact kind of hair. And have had it short for about 1 year now. Curls look SOOO good on you!! I would grow it. I’m growing mine and it looks like shit right now, but hey, it’s hair, it grows. You cut it later, it grows again…
    .-= bubblewench´s last blog ..Hello world! =-.

    Dory Reply:

    Ok. Long,1; Short, 0. What is it with our hairs?! We grow it, we complain, we cut it, we complain, repeat. Maybe we should just shave it all off and use wigs. Then we could change as the mood hits.

  3. Caron says:

    Hmmm, well I liked it super long with all the curls- but I do remember all the complaints about how long it took you to make sure it didnt turn into a complete frizz ball by lunch time!
    I also LOVED it super short. Very sassy! Not so sure about it right now- I think if you let it grow about 2-3 more inches it would look freaking adorable!
    So with all that being said I guess I wasnt much help huh! Sorry Noodle!
    Oh and PS- SEEEE I do still read your blog! :)

    Dory Reply:

    Oh, hell yeah, just the long hair takes 20 minutes if I’m lucky. Use a pick, scrunch, insert mousse roots to ends, scrunch. Then LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE. God forbid I should absentmindedly run my fingers through it– POOF!!! I’m Frizzy McFrizzhead, nice to meet you!

    That sounded like you were leaning toward long, so… Long, 2; Short, 0.

  4. Headless Mom says:

    I actually like the length it is now, maybe a little longer? Find a good stylist and have her give it a little more shape and you should be good to go.
    .-= Headless Mom´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

    Dory Reply:

    @Headless Mom: Long, 2; Short, 0; Medium, 1. Ok, gotcha. :)

  5. I agree with Headless Mom. The length it is now is cute and sassy! Grow it out a little bit, maybe 2 inches more and keep it there. It’s looks really good though at this length. I am envious of the natural curls!
    .-= Cissa Fireheart´s last blog ..This is the end, this is the end of the innocence…. =-.

    Dory Reply:

    @Cissa Fireheart: Long, 2; Short, 0; Medium, 2. Ok! Thanks!

  6. wonderwhygal says:

    You always had beautiful hair. I like like the long but prefer the mid-length. It’s a happy medium.

    Dory Reply:

    @wonderwhygal: Long, 2; Short, 0; Medium, 3. Ok! Good!

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  8. Abigail says:

    I really liked the short hair. And if you re-read your post, I think you’ll conclude that you’re leaning toward that anyway. We’re just here to say whatever it is you want us to say :P

    Seriously, though.

    If you’re not sure, my suggestion would be this: Find a style for the length it is now. Go to a hairdresser (talk a friend whose hair you like and get the name of her hair cutter) and explain the problems. A lot of the problem with growing hair out is that what looks good short grows out funky. I’ve made the transition a few times and it’s never fun. It requires upkeep.

    The other good thing about the wait and see approach is that you don’t have to make much of a decision. You still have the chance to grow it out (whereas if you chop it all off you know you won’t want to start over/deal with all this again) but you’re also able to chop it off as necessary if you miss your cute short do.

    Whatever you decide to do, definitely go see somebody to get your locks under control. I usually go loiter in a drugstore or some place with the haircut magazines. I try to find a cut I like — preferably with a starlet whose face is rounder like mine — and then I buy that magazine (after having pawed through about 5 others) and take it with me to the hair dresser.

    I think it’s always safer to use a picture rather than to just try to describe with words.
    .-= Abigail´s last blog ..Do careers exist anymore? =-.

    Dory Reply:

    @Abigail: I think I’ll ask hair-cutter-gal if she’d work on it just one more time on the DL. Y’know how it is when you find someone you trust and can’t imagine anyone else being able to do it as well.

  9. Bejewell says:

    You’re absolutely adorable either way. My preference would be longer locks but I’m totally biased because I look like SHIT with short hair. And yet, that knowledge hasn’t stopped me from making numerous bad choices in the name of “get out of my way” hair. I spend most of my life in various stages of “growing out.” So I *might* be just a tiny bit jealous. Maybe. I don;t know.

    Hair, she is a fickle bitch.
    .-= Bejewell´s last blog ..Probably the Most Patriotic Post You Will Ever Read. =-.

    Dory Reply:

    @Bejewell: Awww! You are SO sweet! Thanks! For those of you keeping score, it seems the consensus so far is leaning toward Medium.

  10. Short and to the point – I vote Medium!
    .-= Dawn B (elfini)´s last blog ..13: The Highs and Lows =-.

    Dory Reply:

    @Dawn B (elfini): Got it! Thank you for registering your vote! Now we’re definitely pointed towards Medium.

  11. Short or medium is my vote! Long was the younger you!
    .-= kwr221 (Kristin)´s last blog ..don’t get excited – this is not a real post =-.

    Dory Reply:

    @kwr221 (Kristin): That’s it. I’m definitely giving it a few more weeks and then see if hair-cutter-gal will shape it up a little.

  12. Tom says:

    Oh, and just so everyone knows… I didn’t get the benefit of the hair in that wedding picture very long. a mere 2 or 3 days after that picture was taken, she lopped off 8 inches and I had only known her for a year at that point. I loved her long hair and didn’t get to see it much which is why I talk about it now. She likes it short and I’m ok with that because I know it’s easier and that’s also why MY hair is the length it is now, not because I lost it.

  13. Dixie says:

    Did you know that when someone asks for advice they almost always leave out the most important information needed to make the decision? Although, knowing you, you’re pretty transparent and probably told us everything just to prove that first statement wrong. Okay, I remember when your hair was long and beautiful but, when you lifted it up, it was all shaved underneath. Let’s go for that. Seriously, I like it short. I’m sorry about Tom’s fantasies, but he’ll have to get over them.
    A word of advice: Don’t ever become emotionally involved with your hair.

  14. MelodyAnn says:

    MEDIUM! MEDIUM! I vote MEDIUM!!! :razz:

  15. Sarah says:

    I think you could add a bit of length to what you have now, but not much past the shoulders. Get some layers and shaping and it would be smokin’!
    I am in a constant battle with what to do with my hair. I love my hair in a short sassy style, but then I cannot do any glamourous things with it. So right now, it is in an angled bob, almost long enough to put in pigtails. Not that pigtails are glamourous. Nor bobs.
    LeSigh.

  16. Jerseygirl89 says:

    I’m jumping on the medium bandwagon. I like it now – just fine a good stylist (I know, easier said than done) to trim it up and it should be easier to control. Also, am jealous of your continuing curls, my hair began to straighten at 30 and I am still bitter.
    .-= Jerseygirl89´s last blog ..Am I Over-Reacting? =-.

  17. Jocelyn says:

    GROW IT. GROW IT. Soldier on, lady.
    .-= Jocelyn´s last blog .. =-.

  18. CityGirl says:

    Grow it, Sista.

    And while it’s in the in-between stage? The awkward, “this isn’t how it’ll look when it’s done cookin” stage? Wear a beret and speak with an affected French accent.
    .-= CityGirl´s last blog ..On Hiatus =-.

  19. trienne says:

    I LOVE the third picture. I think you look naturally stunning. There is a middle length in there that is super annoying on “fat days”, but 6/7 days it’s just how you choose to look at it. I’m really liking the length in the third pic.

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