Top Ten Reasons You Know You’re on Graveyard Shift

(If you’re lucky enough to have a TV and a laptop to pass the time.)

(Which I am. Neener. Neener. Neener.)

  1. You actually start watching, then actually thinking about buying, anything on a 30 minute commercial.
  2. You’re thankful for a M*A*S*H marathon so you have a choice other than news or infomercials.
  3. You see the sun come up and you reason that your shift will be over soon. It does not occur to you that that is an absolutely bizarre thought.
  4. Your lullaby is birds chirping.
  5. You use your night off to sleep more and waste 18 hours of a single day sleeping.
  6. After you catch up on what happened on your Twitter and Facebook while you were sleeping, your timelines sit at a standstill. When they start picking up again, you know it’s almost bedtime.
  7. If you have a high-energy dog such as, say, a Jack Russell, you catch her vibrating while she’s standing still because she insisted on sleeping 6 hours with spouse and 8 hours with you. She has so much energy she can’t even stand herself. The vibrating reaches a fever pitch. Then her head explodes.
  8. You experience jet lag without even leaving your city from swapping sleep schedules to spend time with your family on your days off.
  9. Your social life… wait, what social life?!?! You’ve fallen off the face of the earth!
  10. You think nothing of eating ribs, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole at 5 in the morning.

Author: Dory

Believer. Wife. Mom. Deaf chick. ADD-addled. Photographer. Graphic designer. Blogger. Guano whacknut. Not necessarily in that order.

11 thoughts on “Top Ten Reasons You Know You’re on Graveyard Shift”

  1. ANDDD then you think to yourself…YEA! I have a job and there are millions of people in Michigan that can’t even spell J-O-B without crying because they just lost their house, dog, wife, cell phone… Then you smile and hope that your eyes stay open long enough to drive home without driving over a speedlimit sign, small child, mail box, or trash can. Loads of fun.

    Hard to believe that this state is at the TOP of the WORST unemployment rate list.

  2. I don’t work the night shift, however, I absolutely love an infomercial. Love them. I never buy anything but I am always sucked in and I really want the product after I see it. But I know the item is never going to live up to the hype. They’re still fun to watch though.

    My current desire is that steam cleaning thing that just uses hot water to clean all kinds o’ crud out of the kitchen and bathroom.

    cardiogirls last blog post..Hey, kitty cat? You’re not the only cool kid in town

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