(If you’re lucky enough to have a TV and a laptop to pass the time.)
(Which I am. Neener. Neener. Neener.)
- You actually start watching, then actually thinking about buying, anything on a 30 minute commercial.
- You’re thankful for a M*A*S*H marathon so you have a choice other than news or infomercials.
- You see the sun come up and you reason that your shift will be over soon. It does not occur to you that that is an absolutely bizarre thought.
- Your lullaby is birds chirping.
- You use your night off to sleep more and waste 18 hours of a single day sleeping.
- After you catch up on what happened on your Twitter and Facebook while you were sleeping, your timelines sit at a standstill. When they start picking up again, you know it’s almost bedtime.
- If you have a high-energy dog such as, say, a Jack Russell, you catch her vibrating while she’s standing still because she insisted on sleeping 6 hours with spouse and 8 hours with you. She has so much energy she can’t even stand herself. The vibrating reaches a fever pitch. Then her head explodes.
- You experience jet lag without even leaving your city from swapping sleep schedules to spend time with your family on your days off.
- Your social life… wait, what social life?!?! You’ve fallen off the face of the earth!
- You think nothing of eating ribs, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole at 5 in the morning.