He met this little cutie-patootie redhead at his after-school Asperger’s program. He really liked her, but she was “going with” another boy. He was really upset about it (“This is just GREAT; I’m NEVER gonna have a girlfriend!”) but we talked him down from the ledge. Well, The Little Red-headed Girl changed her mind. She likes Rocky now, and he likes her still. It makes sense. They’re both ADHD and AS, so they get each other.
She came over Saturday for a few hours, and then he went over to her house yesterday for a few hours. Her mom brought him back and said, “Ok, I tried not to make a big deal out of this. I ran into the gas station and when I came back out, I saw them smoochin’ in the back seat.”
I was all, awwwwwww, I have to tell his Aunt T (whose response was? “Where’s The Fries?!?! Noooooo!!!”) and we talked a little and they went home. No biggie, right?
Well, I don’t know. There’s something about this whole thing that’s really weighing heavy on my heart. HunkyDory has had numerous s-e-x talks with Rocky; no problem, if you’re old enough to ask the question, you’re old enough for the answer. We’ve passed our save-it-for-your-wife onto him but also given him a very thorough sex education, so I think we’ve got all our bases covered.
But. There is always a but, and sometimes a butt.
I’m having kind of a hard time with this. As both boys have gotten older and older, I’ve celebrated each milestone as a little more freedom for all of us. Potty-training… chucking those damn car seats… getting their own breakfast… finally being able to go out for a few hours and not have to figure a babysitter into the evening’s budget… all good for them, great for me. The neatest thing is watch these guys go from babies to toddlers into “real people” with their own distinct personalities. This was the first milestone that I’ve hit and thought, ok, whoa… I didn’t see that one coming. Now I’m unsettled and a little scared. This is where the rubber meets the road. I have to step back and hope that he makes his choices according to the way we’ve brought him up.
Maybe I’m having such a hard time because I’m struggling to find a way celebrate this milestone. It’s the first one that I’m not really a part of. My baby boy isn’t one anymore, and I have no way to relate to my man-child’s newfound *gulp* sexuality. Tom will still have some sort of “in” because I’m sure that Rocky will still come to him with big questions. But the fact remains, my confidence in my own role in this new area is sorely shaken. Will he come to me for input? I can just imagine him… “Ewwwwww, MoooOOOooommmmmm!” and I’m guessing that’s a big fat NO.
Tonight, he came over and asked if he could sit with me while we watched 24. I was like, “Um, ok, why?” and he said, “Because I love my mommy” with this really cheesy grin.
I smiled and stretched my arms, and he snuggled with me, his face turned toward Jack Bauer saving the day.
I don’t think he caught me with my stingy eyeballs. If he did, he pretended he didn’t.
God bless the little smoochin’ boogerhead.