Google THIS, buddy.

I haven’t highlighted some of the, ah, unique search terms that people have googled and landed here at Chez Dory lately. It needs to happen a little more often, because I need to share the giggles that ensue.

However, that’ll hold for another day. I want to tell you about what DIDN’T drive search traffic here that I thought WOULD, and DID drive search traffic here that I never guessed WOULD have.

In this post here, it was just a Blog Stew Day, and here are two separate paragraphs from that post.

I can’t play a board game with my boys for two minutes before I’ve ripped out my hair and set fire to it as a diversionary tactic to buy myself 15 precious seconds in order to quickly leave the room, jump in the car, and buy the next ticket out of the country to go buy my Himalayan Whistle Kid. Himalayan Whistle Kids don’t ask you to referee and endure mental torture under the guise of Family Game Night. Himalayan Whistle Kids sit in the corner and make origami out of Tupperware parings and golden mushroom gravy, silently thankful for the bountiful blessings I bestow upon him.

*****

I’ve been watching what weird-ass Google searches led people to my blog. I’m sorry to say nothing noteworthy has turned up as of late. It’s high time that situation was rectified.

Gerbil fist anus heaving breasts. Turtle nostril vibrate peanut butter. Earrings nipple piercings Prince Albert. Incandescent lightbulb stuck pelvic x-ray. Leprechaun rape Sasquatch erotic. Ginormous tumescent phallic wonder. Me love you long time. Llama sexy single girls gone wild illegal. Pulsing womanhood slippery entice wandering eyes. Harley Davidson shop exhibitionist Yankees voyeur vibrate vibrate vibrate. Semen bukkake alluring tantric orgasm. Hitler rectal donkey punch romantic evening. Foaming pubic kneecaps licking toe jam. Tongue giraffe kneel job. Sexy Premier Chain expose nudist Santa. Oh, me so horny. Oh, and smegma.

That oughta do it.

Not one single word from the second quote has driven any traffic here. However… “Himalayan Whistle Kid”*has brought SIX different people here.

Whodah thunk it?!

*I’m pretty sure I got “Himalayan Whistle Kid”
from a Will & Grace episode. I wish I could take
credit for it, but whadarya gonna do. *shrugs*

Author: Dory

Believer. Wife. Mom. Deaf chick. ADD-addled. Photographer. Graphic designer. Blogger. Guano whacknut. Not necessarily in that order.

4 thoughts on “Google THIS, buddy.”

  1. @Jim:
    I know! There’s got to be a support group set up for the victim’s of Leprechaun rape somewhere. I should have known that it wouldn’t have been “tumescent”. Who can spell it anyway? Not me. Not on the first try, anyway.

  2. LOVE to look at the Google search terms that land people at our place. Of course, I’ve been known to intentionally pepper posts with keyterms when traffic is low. heh-heh-heh.

    The terms people use most are Louis Vuitton casket (which is a ballcap in French, as opposed to an actual CASKET Country Girl posted about) and Girl Slaughtering which still completely creeps me out. ::shudder::

    What is WRONG with people in Eastern Europe?

    City Girls last blog post..My thermostat is set on 68…

  3. @City Girl:
    I’ve seen other bloggers throw in similarly raunchy keywords and make the font color the same color as the background. What kind of fun is that?! Show that sickness loud and proud!

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