I need Depends that fit on my head. You know, just in case.

I am so blessed.

The Hunkster is the only person in the whole wide world who really, really gets me. I can be a very difficult person to live with day in, day out. What with the ADD and The Crazy, he patiently (most of the time) tolerates what most people would run away screaming from. Because The Crazy? Is a little scary sometimes. I have mood swings that would make an Air Force fighter pilot nauseous. I have little manic episodes and big depressive episodes and sometimes more than two swings in one day. I try to keep it skwished down as much as I can, but sometimes I just gotta let a little bit out, and sometimes more squirts than I thought was going to. Ya know when your tummy rumbles and you gotta fart a little bit but people are around and you have to try to be all stealthy? And you let just a liiiiittle bit out, but it’s one of those silent-but-deadly farts? And you’re thinking, oh man, I almost pooped. And the stank moves out like a brown fog and you see people’s faces wrinkle up in recognition and folks around you start fanning the air and someone whispers, dude, what died? And you’re thinking, oh, man, I didn’t know it was gonna be that rank.

Because My Crazy? Is just like that sometimes.

******

It’s her Birfdaaaaayyyyy! YAYAYAYAY!!! Go wish MelodyAnn a happy, happy birfday. Now. Go. Hurry. Shoo.

Because I might fart a little Crazy. Get out while the gettin’s good.

Rip it, man. Just let ‘er rip. I’m gonna.

5 thoughts on “I need Depends that fit on my head. You know, just in case.”

  1. ummm, omg woman…..you crack me up. Maybe its just cuz i have been half awake on the last two posts, but i doubt it. You made me giggle when you were doing the run down on the whole leaking of crazy and such. LMAO. Umm, and happy birthday to the person i don’t know! or maybe i do and don’t remember…..hmmm think im having a dory moment.

  2. Ha! I do that farting routine nearly every time I have to speak in public. Once a month, I have to give capital-P Presentations to anywhere from ten to forty people. I’m sure more than once people attending my talks have wondered who’s started cooking rotten cabbage in the next room.

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